Hugh McPearson Ten of Spades detective: The Inconsequential Investigations collection Volume One
Rather than describing Hugh McPearson Ten of Spades detective myself, let me allow him to do so.
“Hello (potential) reader. I guess you’ve never heard of a Ten of Spades Detective before, or even an ostrich detective. You’ve probably only heard of Ace Detectives, like my annoyingly brilliant brother, who confusingly is also called Hugh. I call myself a Ten of Spades Detective because I take on the jobs the Ace Detectives leave behind… or can’t be bothered with. Luckily, I’m occasionally helped out by my unofficial side-kick Gary Apparently and by the use of my brilliant and original disguises… Well, I thought I looked like a cupcake that time anyway…
The jobs I’ve had have led me into a few unusual situations. I like to tell you about some of them. This is where you come in though by buying this book. I think you have to click on ‘Add to Basket’…”
(Buy story) Kindle, hardcover, or paperback
Football Results
A story for 8 to 11 year-olds.
The young Queen Petunia has a problem. A magic spell means that her husband, King Popple, spends the whole day reading or making up football results (and the Chamberlain can only sing and not speak). Further magic means that a kind of purply wax drips out of everyone’s ears all day and all the children under the age of five in the kingdom think they are cows and stand about in fields all day eating plants. Fortunately ingenious use of the football results saves the day!
(Buy story) £2.25
The Egg
Jasmine, the new girl, has not yet settled into the class. Her teacher, Mr Barratt and the headteacher, Mrs Cooper, are beginning to become a bit concerned. The fact is that the children, along with most of their parents, think that Jasmine, along with her parents, April and Milton, are a bit strange.
Things may change dramatically, in a ‘show and tell’ class, when the children, along with one or two parents, bring their pets into the school. Jasmine brings in a pet in a birdcage, covered in silver foil. ‘Trust her to have a weird pet.’ the rest of the children think. Could they be in for a surprise? Especially when Mr Barratt wants Mrs Cooper to come and have a look too!
(Buy from Kindle) £2.50
Mrs Jones lives next door to Mrs Jones
‘It started like this. A Mrs Jones lived next door to Mrs Jones.’
A study of the absurdity of runaway consumerism. Mrs G Jones continuously competes to outdo her neighbour Mrs J Jones. Firstly, it’s furniture and clothing; then it’s exotic pets, cars, extensions, holidays, and cosmetic surgery. Meanwhile, their children are forgotten and run wild and their husbands work 24 hours a day to pay the bills… finally Mrs G J actually commissions a white elephant while Mrs J J builds an ivory tower*. Not surprisingly it ends in disaster.
*Actually made out of marble, so it’s not all bad.
(Buy from Kindle) £3.00
Superhero Strawberry
A story aimed at 10 to 13 year-olds.
An unlikely candidate for a superhero but this seemingly innocuous plant thwarts various nefarious plots, in particular one to take over the drones used by the armed forces.
“It looked like they’d just executed the perfect crime. Being light but agile, the three gymnasts-cum-felons had been able to actually swing along the tops of the frames of the paintings in the gallery. They swung from painting to painting, like apes swinging from tree to tree, without setting off the alarms fixed behind each painting that went off if anyone tried to pull them off the wall. They then formed a triangle around the small sculpture that was the target of their robbery, each of them hanging gracefully from the frame of three different paintings…”
(Buy story) £2.99
More Short Stories
A number of my short stories, including a growing series about a hapless detective known as “Hugh McPearson Ten of Spades Detective” are available on the new web-site www.cutalongstory.com
Hugh McPearson and the Gobstopper Mystery
In this first earth-shattering adventure of many, Hugh McPearson “Ten of Spades Detective” (embarassingly his brother is an Ace Detective) seeks to solve the mystery of the disappearing layer in some school children’s gobstoppers! Curiously this fascinating case failed to make the front pages of the national newspapers… or any pages come to that…
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Hugh McPearson and the Vanishing Bread
In his second adventure Hugh McPearson seeks to find out why all the bread is disappearing from Mr Jones’ bread shop overnight! Master of disguise he may have to take on the appearance of some form of confectionery…
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Hugh McPearson and the Stolen King Neptune
King Neptune had been kidnapped or stolen! In his third adventure, can Hugh rescue the King of the Sea? Bet he looks daft in a diving suit!
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Hugh McPearson and the Vanishing School Bell
In his fourth inconsequential adventure, Hugh McPearson teams up with his side-kick Gary, apparently to solve the problem of the stolen school bell, which means that neither the teachers or children can go home. Their adventure involves a skating rink, a snoring headteacher and several chapters from a book explaining how to cope with the old cars teachers drive.
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Hugh McPearson and the Agreement Gas
In his fifth inconsequential adventure at the request of the Prime Minister our hero attempts to save the nation by uncovering the heinous villain behind the production of Agreement Gas, which very dangerously makes everyone agree with each other! In the course of his adventure he becomes the first ostrich to fly – downwards to go upwards as well as upwards – disguises himself as a corner flag and becomes one of the first ever to sit in a spell. To find out more… read the story! How simple could it be!
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Hugh McPearson and the Confounding Riddles
In his sixth bizarre adventure, Hugh (and his brother who is also called Hugh) face their nemesis. This mysterious master villain has already stolen all the gold from The Bank of England and all the paintings from Buckingham Palace, but now Hugh (and Hugh) have to prevent the villain… well they don’t know what to prevent unless they can crack the villain’s mysterious coded riddles. According to Hugh (Hugh’s brother) a total twit is needed. Confused… read on…
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Trevor the superhero spider
Trevor is a superhero, however he is also a spider so his superhero powers are in proportion to his size. Trevor and his friends come to the aid of the owners of the house they all live in when Mr and Mrs Fairbanks are persecuted by Mr Bartson of Bartson Holdings U.K. (Ltd) and his heavies.
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(Buy story) £1.99
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