Happy New Year everyone!

Continuing the idea of adding some creative writing ideas, some silly rules! I call these “get the pen moving” ideas – once we get the pen moving that’s when the ideas start coming! Sometimes these then work as warm up exercises, or sometimes as a fun end in themselves!

I don’t know if you’ve ever wanted to rule the world… I don’t think I’d like to since everyone who’s ever tried has made a right mess of it. Still if I did read on…

Get the pen moving ideas.

 Crazy Rules.

Rules if I ruled the world

1. All people whose name begins with “S” are to be in charge and everyone has to buy them Magnums all the time or make them cups of tea all the time.

2. Only ostriches can be employed as teachers, not people. The pupils have to do everything the ostriches tell them to do, apart from that they can do what they want.

3. People have to say “Mushroom” to each other when they meet instead of “Hello”. Anyone who disobeys this order has to have a bath in tomato soup.

4. Being a goat will be completely illegal. All goats will have to become sheep instead of goats, otherwise they will have to go to prison for two and a half seconds.

5. People can only drive cars that are completely made out of ice-cream.

6. From now on Sundays can only occur on Saturdays. If they don’t, everybody has to completely ignore them and take a day off after every Saturday.

7. Space is not allowed. From now on the universe must end at Scunthorpe.

8. Anyone who makes up more than eight completely stupid rules must be arrested and covered in elephants immediately.

9. It is…………..aaaaaaaagh……get those elephants out of here!!!!!!!

NB Although these particular rules are for teachers you could make up rules for parents, dinner ladies, dogs, coats, dentists, fish… even ANNOYING YOUNGER BROTHERS!!! 

Crazy rules for teachers.

1..Teachers will be allowed to use pupils who don’t do their homework to build their houses with. They can cement them together to make walls with instead of bricks.

2. Teachers can have carpets made out of pupils who don’t do as they are told, by sewing the pupils together.

3. Teachers only have to work on 30th February and they can have the rest of the year off.

4. Every night teachers can give their pupils four years worth of homework.

5. Every day pupils should wash the teachers’ cars, polish their shoes and make them cups of tea all the time.

6. Teachers should be paid at the rate of three million pounds per second.

7. Teachers should only have to teach classes of 0 pupils or less.

8. Teachers should be forced to go on a ten year long training course where they have to learn how to sunbathe on Caribbean beaches.